Adam Sandler - Toll Booth Willie текст песни

Performed by adam sandler, rob schneider, tim meadows, david spade, steve koren, tim herlihy, and margaret ruden

[car approaches]

Toll booth willie: "welcome to worchester. dollar twenty-five please."

M1: "hey, how ya doin toll booth willie? "

Toll booth willie: "good! thanks fer askin, pop!"

M1: "aww, thats great, you know, considering yer a fuckin idiot!"

[pays toll and drives off]

Toll booth willie: "go fuck yourself you son of a bitch! Ill come right outta the booth and fuckin whack ya, you fuckin prick!"

[another car approaches]

M2: "hey, hey, willie! hows it going? "

Toll booth willie: "hey, cant complain, pop. hows bout you? "

M2: "oh, great, great. how much? "

Toll booth willie: "the state charges a dollar twenty-five, pop."

M2: "thats fine. now should I give you the money, or should I shove the quarters directly up your fat ass!? "

[pays toll and drives off]

Toll booth willie: "why you fuckin hard on! Ill fucking carlton fisk yer fuckin head with a louise-ville fuckin slugger! whadya think of that ass fuck!? "

[another car approaches]

F1: "hi willie."

Toll booth willie: "oh, nice to see ya mam. not a bad day, huh? "

F1: "well, Im a little lost. could you help me out? I hear your the best with directions."

Toll booth willie: "well I know my way around new england. I can tell ya that much. so where ya headed? "

F1: "well, I was just wondering exactly which is the best way to drive up your ass. you know, if youd tell me, Id appreciate it, you fuckin prick."

[drives off]

Toll booth willie: "you fuckin bitch! fuck you! you forgot to pay the fuckin toll you dirty whore! Ill fuckin drop you with a boot to the fuckin skull you cum guzzling queen!"

[another car approaches]

M3: "hey willie."

Toll booth willie: "hey, how are ya? "

M3: "heres a dollar twenty-five, and go fuck yourself."

[pays toll and drives off]

Toll booth willie: "dah, you fuckin prick! I hope you choke on a fuckin bottle cap, ya fuckin son of a fuck! eat shit! eat my shit!"

[another car approaches]

Bishop nelson: "hello willie. good to see you."

Toll booth willie: "ahhh, bishop nelson. nice to see ya. that was quite a sermon you had the other day."

Bishop nelson: "hey, well I do my best."

Toll booth willie: "dollar twenty-five, bishop."

Bishop nelson: "dollar twenty-five, willie. isnt that the same price your mother charges for a blow job, you piece of dog shit!? "

[pays toll and drives off]

Toll booth willie: "ohhh! have another one, you fuckin lush! its not my fault the bartender cut ya off last night ya fuckin douche bag!"

[another car approaches]

M5: "hey!"

Toll booth willie: "well hey!"

M5: "yeah, do you want the money, or should I just shove the quarters directly up your fat ass!? "

[pays toll and drives off]

Toll booth willie: "well, I already heard that one you fuckin unoriginal bastard! go suck a corn you fuckin piece of repeatin shit!"

[another car approaches]

F2: "hi."

Toll booth willie: "oh, hi. how are ya? "

F2: "fine, thank you. how much is the toll please? "

Toll booth willie: "for you sweetheart, its a dollar twenty-five."

F2: "here ya go."

[pays toll]

F2: "thank you."

[begins to drive off]

Toll booth willie: "hey! hey! honey! would you like a receipt with that? "

F2: "oh, I almost forgot. thank you so much."

[toll booth willie scribbling a receipt for her]

Toll booth willie: "and here ya are."

F2: "umm, do you think you could sign it? "

Toll booth willie: "oh, uh.. sign it? "

F2: "yeah, sign toll booth willie was here."

Toll booth willie: "ok, sure. uhh, by the way, what is this for? "

[signing receipt]

F2: "just so I could have proof for my friends that I met the biggest fuckin dip shit with the smallest dick alive. you understand."

[drives off]

[crumples up paper]

Toll booth willie: "fuck you, you fuckin upity bitch! Ill fuckin fuck you and all your lesbian fish-eating friends in front of your fuckin mothers! youre gonna die, bitch! Im comin o

The booth!" [opens the door and runs out of the booth]

[car screeches and hits him]

Toll booth willie: "ooooh! my fuckin leg!"

M6: "hey! you ran over toll booth willie!"

M7: "oh my god! I was always wondering what it would be like to run over a

Dried up stinky dick licker."

Toll booth willie: "why you fuckin pricks. I fuckin hear every fuckin word yer saying! when this fuckin leg heals, Im gonna kick you guys new fuckin assholes!

[everyone cussing eachother out]