Adam Sandler - The Buffoon And The Valedictorian текст песни

And now the buffoon's date at the drive-in with the school's valedictorian.

[Valedictorian:] I really appreciate you're asking me out.

Most people are intimidated by my high academic achievement.

[Buffoon:] This movie sucks shit!

[Valedictorian:] Well, Ebel gave it thumbs up,

but Ciscel thought it was too preachy.

Anyway, I enjoyed the director's last film immensly.

[Buffoon:] Cathleen Turner has big fuckin' tits!

[Valedictorian:] Yes, well, she recently had a child.

I think her maternal biology may play a role in that.

She looks fabulous for a woman her age, doesn't she?

[Buffoon:] I put a firecracker in a bullfrog's mouth and blew his fuckin' head off.

[Valedictorian:] Well, in psychology we learned that it is not uncommon

for male adolescents to commit savage acts on animals as part of their maturing process.

[Buffoon:] That girl in the fucking car in front of us, she gives everybody head.

[Valedictorian:] Well, I guess she's strong for attention and she feels promiscuity is the only way to obtain it.

[Buffoon eating popcorn]

[Buffoon:] This popcorn's fuckin' terrible. It tastes like someone jizzed all over it.

[Buffoon continues to eat popcorn]

[Valedictorian:] Well the amount of semen on this popcorn is certainly disturbing.

Perhaps the staff in the refreshment stand was overcome

by the monotony of their work and decided to play a childish prank.

[Buffoon:] I looked at my asshole in the mirror today. It blew my fuckin' mind!

[Valedictorian:] It's ironic that parts of one's body seems odd

and unusual because you don't see them on a day to day basis.

[Buffoon:] My father's shit stinks up the bathroom all fuckin' day!

[Valedictorian:] It's puzzling why one person's fecal odor can be more overpowering than another's.

I wonder whether it is a function of the food digested or that person's internal metabolism.

[Buffoon:] I'm gonna go get head from that fuckin' girl.

[Gets out of the car]

[Valedictorian:] Well, I'm sorry to see the date come to such an abrubt conclusion.

[Buffoon walking away]

I do appreciate the time you spent with me and look forward to a future rondevue.

[Buffoon:] I like to piss in that guy's fuckin' gas tank!

[Valedictorian:] Bye bye! Have fun.

[Buffoon continues to walk away]