Your Favorite Martian - Whip Your Kids текст песни

I don't know if you're aware, but your kids suck ass.
If you need someone to whip 'em then, ha... just ask 'cause
They ain't as perfect as you say they is.
They ain't perfect at all.
You're raising Bebe's kids.

I'm sorry. I don't know you.
I don't mean to get pissy,
But you need to discipline your bratty kids, you hippy.
Like c'mere you little jerk.
Taste the back of my palm!
But you ain't my daddy!
Nah, but I'm doing your mom!

Now I know you think they're angels,
But they're driving me insane.
I'll punch a baby in the face
Just for cryin' on a plane.
Cause I don't mess around.
You need to control 'em or I'll lose it.

But I made you a drawing.

Shut the fuck up, kid. That's stupid.
Now I'm a get my truck.
I'm a load all my boys in back.
I'm a find out where you live
And break all your toys in half.
And I know it ain't your birthday,
But when nobody's lookin'
I'm a give you a little present.

What? An ass-whoopin'!

Please may I whip your kids [8x]
I wanna whip your kids

I never ever thought I'd say a kid deserved to get hit,
But it's obvious time-out ain't working for shit.
Yeah, I've seen your parenting style.
It ain't all that.
You gotta hit the little brat with a whiffle ball bat.
'Cause this is obviously more than just a youthful rebellion.
You gotta belt the little hellions with a belt when they're yellin'.
'Cause you don't want me to do it,
'Cause I'll paint their little brains all over the wall
When I spank 'em with a chainsaw.

And why are they acting wild and loose?
If they deserve the ass-whoopin', it ain't child abuse.
When I'm tryin' to buy groceries, and they're muckin' up my style.
They're like drunkin' little midgets runnin' up and down the aisle.
Touching everything in sight, and geez for Christ's sake
I think one of 'em just stuck his little penis in my cake.
And now I'm a have to put it back and get a new one. And it bugs me.

But mommy says I'm beautiful.
Shut the fuck up kid you're ugly!

Please may I whip your kids [8x]
I wanna whip your kids

Please, let me whip your children.
Please, let me whip your kids.
I can't stand kids misbehaving,
Running around and disobeying.
All they need is a kick in the pants.
A punt in the butt.
A lesson that will finally shut 'em up.
Please, let me whip your children.
Please, let me whip your kids.

Please may I whip your kids [8x]
I wanna whip your kids

Oh, come on people, it's a joke.
We would never hit anyone's kid, come on!
I love kids!
Come here and give me a hug you little rugrats.
Hey, what, what the, what?