Soundtracks - Miss Baltimore Crabs текст песни

Oh my god how times have changed
these girls must be blind
or completely deranged
but time seemed to halt
when I was miss baltimore crabs
(spoken)amber that move is far too dirty
Mother wake up from that dream of yours
this isn't 1930
(sung) you can laugh but lives a test
don't do this don't do that
remember mother knows best
for the crowns in the vault
from when I won miss baltimore crabs
these steps are perfect ammunition
let me show you how your mummy dear
took out the competition
girls go get 'em boys let's rumba
1,2,3,4,5,6
those poor runner ups might still hold some grudges
they padded their cups
but I screwed the judges
those broads thought they'd win
if a plate they could
spin in their dance nor a chance
boys put me down
(spoken) oh good morning ladies
let's see what you've got
(sung) twist, twist, twist, twist
mashed potato mambo
ready begin
on my show you'll never find
a thrusting hip or bump or grind
what's that a dance for fleas and ticks
oh you should have seen my bag of tricks
oh I hit the stage batons ablaze
while belting aida and preparing souffles
but that triple somersault
is how I clinched miss baltimore crabs
are you scared were on live
no im sure I can cope
well this show isn't broadcast in cinemascope
I never drank one chocolate malt
no dessert for miss baltimore crabs
this one will never get a date
in these hand me down clothes
ha kid she'll never get a date
till daddy buys her a new nose
I would say oy gevalt
if I wasn't miss baltimore crabs
do you dance like you dress
amber there's no reason to be cruel
would you swim in an integrated pool
(spoken) I sure would I'm all for integration
its the new frontier
not in baltimore it isn't
and may I be frank
(sung) first impressions can be tough
and when I saw you knew it
if your size weren't enough
your last answer just blew it
and so my dear so short and stout
you'll never be in so were kicking you out
with your form and your face
oh well it isn't your fault
your just down with a case of
miss baltimore crabs