Katatonia - Had To текст песни

so you were with us until the last minute
and then you were gone from here
and i watched and i just figured out
that i will never see you again

i had a choice
you had to leave
into the night
this was my choice

it's so hard to explain what i meant
when i said that i wanted you dead
but i saw you fuck up and i just can't get back
the feeling i had for you

so i put all my strength into my only will
it was the only thing to do
and now i only regret that i cried
cause you would never do that for me