Insane Clown Posse - If текст песни

If I was your tv I'd be like Look at me
If I was a shooting star I'd be like Peace!
If I was a fat bitches thong I'd be like Hell naw!'
If I was a hotties thong I'd be like Awwww...
If I was a cuss word I'd just be like fuck
If I was a rock on the moon I'd be chillin' like Sup?
If I was a butthole I'd just be an exit
If I was the D.O.C. I'd be like man this is bullshit
If I was the tires on your car I'd be like NEEEAAAWWW
If I was the bumper on your car I'd be like Aww fuck
If I was a balloon I'd be like pap
If I was Allysa Milano I'd be fucking Joe Bruce
If I was a radio DJ I'd probably say the point 103
If I was a richy ass bitch I'd be like umm...ok
If I was Spin magazine I'd put me on the cover and be like fuck us! And
I won't read this, even us motherfucker!
If I was your mental stress I'd be catching up
If I was your headaches every now and then I'd be like THONNNKK!!
If I was your tongue I'd be hating your teeth I'd be like Man why do
you try to bite me every time we try to eat?
If I was a chair I'd be like Sit here
If I was Kid Rock I'd cut my feathered wolf hair
If I was your muffler I'd be like Shhh, quietly
If I was a price tag I'd be like You ain't buying me
If I was a fresh ass DJ I'd be like [records scratch]
If I was Jam Master J I'd be like [records scratch]
If I was a cheap clock radio I'd be like [static]
Tune that motherfucker in
If I was Barry White I'd be like What up y'all?
If I was nipple in the cold I'd be like Boing
If I was your dead uncle I'd be like .....
If I was a raindrop I'd just be like drip
And If I had an ax to your neck I might say CHOP!

[Chorus]
If I was, if I was, but I'll never be
If I was, if I was, but I'll never be
If I was, if I was, but I'll never be
If I was, if I was, but I'll never be
If I was, if I was, but you're killing me
If I was, if I was. but you're killing me

If I was a Faygo at one of our shows, I'd fly through the air into and
ocean of juggalos
If I was Andre The Giant This is how I'd be talking
If I was Father MC I'd be like Now what happened?
If I was a mirror, I'd find another mirror
and look each other dead in the eye, crystal clear
If I was a slider I'd slide out your butt
I'd be floatin' in your toilet lookin' at you like What?
If I was a pilot I'd be like This is air traffic control
If I was John Denver I'd be like Nooooooo!!!!
If I was a switch I'd be like Flick me, yoo-hoo
If I was a London cop car I'd be like Wee-oop wee-oop
If I was Chewbacca I'd get a fresh ass fade
If I was Vanilla Ice I'd be like Fuck y'all. I'm still paid
If I was a stop sign I'd just be like Stop
If I was your wooden leg I'd still be giving you the hip-hop
[Chorus}